I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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