Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My pussy is not your playground.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
