I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i may or may not be watching the land before time
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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