i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
