dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
