"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
