enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
