Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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