I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
