We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
