'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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