Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize