just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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