guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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