Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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