i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
