Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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