Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
