That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
