Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
