i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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