the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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