The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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