I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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