I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
