it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize