This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
