"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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