You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Come on in and take your pants off
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