oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
