Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
