was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
false alarm. still invincible.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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