i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
