nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
