I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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