how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
