The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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