MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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