Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
