I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
