Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
