People with herpes should wear stickers.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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