you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
