Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
