Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
