So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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