she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
