Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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