my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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