yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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