Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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