just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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