I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
