you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
