You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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