i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
