she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
