It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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