So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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