i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
