So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
