I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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