i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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