Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
