the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
