just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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