He kissed a someone with a penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
