When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
this hospital has no fireball
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
