Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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