Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
